STORY TIME 💃💃 NOTE:if you see dis and read please react and comment for me to continue 🥺🥺 Few years ago I asked a lady out for a lunch date through Facebook, She said she was going to bring her friend along since it was our first meeting. Abike and I have been chatting for a while now, so it was only nice i got to know her better. And I had already started catching feelings online So on the day for the date, I got prepared for it. I wore my best suit. I needed to Impress her. When I got to the restaurant which she choosed I was shocked; because it looked expensive. They have already ordered for two bottles of wine. One for her and her friend and one for me. I wanted leaving because I could not afford the wine. But Abike told me to calm down, that this was her treat since she is the one that choosed the restaurant. I was impressed but again uncomfortable, was this a set up? Many thoughts ran through my mind. During the lunch date we ate and drank. We had fun. Everything went perfectly. After the lunch I followed them to the Uber that took them home. That afternoon became my happiest moment. She just paid for our food and she didn't even ask me for Transport fare back home. 100% wife material i screamed out as uber drove off. So I went to my friends house to tell him about my date experience. I met him laying on the bed. And immediately i woke him up. Jide guy. I have found the one. I told Jide. Guy what's the problem? Jide asked me still waking up from sleep. Bro I went to that restaurant, Abike brought plus one as I told you. We ate, we drank and she paid for it. She didn't ask me for a dime. I said excited. You took a girl out on your first date and she paid? She didn't ask you to pay? Jide asked me. Yes na. To shock you even more as they were going, she ordered uber. I said. I know it. So you paid for the uber? Jide asked me. Oga allow me finish first. She ordered uber and she paid for it. I didn't pay. Guy I am calling this girl now to ask her to be my girlfriend. Like guy i have found the one. I said. Immediately my phone started ringing. It was Abike calling. Hello sweetheart Am in your house now. Where are you? Abike asked me over the phone. My friends house. What are you doing in my house? I asked confused. Come on babe. I just moved in. Please can you come home? The sun is too hot. Abike said. Guy what's going on? Jide asked me, I mute the call. Guy its Abike my Facebook date. She is in my house with her belongings. Omo bro you are a married man like this o. Jide said. I unmute the call. Abike are you joking with me? I asked Her over the phone. Babe na. Abike said. I had to hurriedly leave Jide's house and went to my own house. Behold I saw Abike sitting on my corridor with her bags and other stuffs. I blinked my eye to be sure of what I was seeing. I didn't remember asking her to be my girlfriend why this drama. What are you doing here? I asked Abike. Is that how you welcome your wife to be? Abike asked me smiling. Anyways I came for us to prepare for our wedding. Abike said as she left out an evil smile. From there i knew there was problem.

In black and white movies they used milk for rain because water wouldn’t show up on film. When you’re going to throw up, your mouth produces extra saliva to protect the teeth and tongue from stomach acid. Blood can be removed from clothing if the person who bled on it spits on it. Saliva is filtered blood and since that makes the chemical base identical it bonds and lifts the blood/pigment out. Foxes are now trying to domesticate themselves same things cats did hundreds of years ago. So in a few years we can have pet foxes. Elephants are the only living thing that can’t get cancer cause of some special gene they have. Some octopuses basically make up a gang of fishes and teach them to hunt with them and have been caught punching fishes that dont cooperate. A wedding ring is put on the left hand because that finger is the only one that has a vein connecting to the heart. Cows lay down before a storm rolls in bc the barometric pressure drops and it gives them tummy aches.

Who is the dumb person that agreed to get engaged to you? Joking. I’m really happy for you two and can’t wait for the wedding.

Saturday are for party Wedding guest

*Your husband is speaking on the phone* Him: *to the person* It'll be okay. Bye-bye for now... *cuts the call and sighs*... You: What's wrong, Honey? I noticed your face changing while you were on the call. Him: It's my father. You: Your father? What happened to him? Him: *sighs again* You know my mom is deād, and there's no one to take care of him in the village since my sisters all live abroad. We, the boys, can't exactly leave our businesses in the city to stay with him in the village. You: I'll do it. Him: You'll do what? You: I'll travel to the village to take care of your father for at least one year. Him: *surprised* You'll do that? You: Yes, I will. I'm your wife, after all, and your father is also my father. What kind of wife would I be if I don't take care of my husband's aged father? Him: *breaks into a smile and starts praising you* Oyo di ya. Her husband's jewel. My heart! You're a good woman, and I'm glad I married you. Watching him praise you, knowing you only agreed to take care of his father in the village because you want another taste of the hot fūck his father gave you on your wedding night while your husband was drunk and asleep: #danloader

Congrats on your engagement! Now you can stop pretending to be interested in wedding magazines!

*So many women are unmarried, not because they can't find the right man, but because they can't find a man that is rich and at the same time stupid enough to pay for the wedding they and their family are too poor to afford, yet want to have. They want a grand traditional wedding, then a royal white wedding, a talk of the town reception and finally, a society court registry to finish it. Ask them their contribution, and they will say, 'Are you not the one that wants to marry me?'. How can you open your eyes and marry such a liability. Someone who is likely not even a virgin! It matters not to them that Mark Zuckerberg, that is wealthier than their entire generation, had a simple wedding. Marry that girl and prepare for premium billing from her and her entire family and hungry friends.*

Today's most amazing jokes compilations 😂😂😂😂 1.. IF i offend you and u are mad at me,i apologize and u are stil mad at me,Then is nt my fault ,u are just a màd person ...keep it up* madd... madder... maddest...😎🤣🤣😂😂😂 Godswill Tayob ✍️ ♥️ . 2..you are next to be Congratulated 🤍 3 take a deep breath and enjoy premium fun ♥️♥️ #keepsmilingkeepshining 4.. You jam me with breast and you are telling me sorry, sorry for what? Abeg jam me again jor, even continue jaming me* 😋🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 #chenwigodswill . 5 Hello guys, anyone single here? If yes please WhatsApp me your details. Am selling a single bed.* Thank you for showing interest.😎🤣🤣😂😂😂 . 6 Brother hustle ooo, so that when you get old you will be playing golf not Draft*😋😎😎😎😂😂😂😂 . 7 Nothing is sweeter than when you noticed that you failed exams and your friends also failed*👍😂😂😂😂😂 #viralreelschallenge . 8 Our politicians are now performing miracles, using 5 cartons of indomie to feed 5,000 people.* *Wonders shall never end*🙆🏾‍♂️🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 #keepsmilingkeepshining . 9 Tell Us your real age, Abi which one be I'm +1 Today*😡🤷🏿‍♂️ . #chenwigodswill 10 Immaturity is When U Think Carrying MP3 Around the Street is a Sign of Big Boy*😂😂😂😂😂 . 11 This world shouldn't end yet ooo I haven't chased my daughter's boyfriend with cutlass...😋😎😎😂😂😂😂😂 .. 12 When a girl replies by saying "I don't want any girl to come and beat me", congratulations bro * *You are through to the semi finals* _*Start preparing for the finals *_😋😂😂😂😂😂 . 13 hmm u think say heartbreak dey pain? See let me tell you the truth, nothing pains like seeing light in other people's houses but una no get light.😴😴😭😀😀😀😀 . 14 Watching TV with a village girl is so cool until she throws stone at the snake on the screen.* I regretted loosing my TV screen.🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺 . 15 All my life, I have never seen a pregnant female soldier... Do they lay eggs? _*😂🤷🏿‍♂️😂😂 . #godswilltayob 16 We Guys do not put BANANA inside our boxers to deceive U girls, why do u Use foam bra / foam bumbum to deceive us ?*🤷🏿‍♂️😂😂😂😂😂 . 17 Ugly girls will do whatever you ask them to do, until it's time for abortion....* *That's when you will know the real meaning of stubbornness*🙆🏾‍♂️🤣🤣😂😂 #tayobtayob . 18 Some women’s legs are like rumours, they keep on spreading.🙆🏾‍♂️😂😂 . 19 If you are a lady and you don’t respect men, you will end up serving jollof at your younger sister’s wedding.🤷🏿‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️🤣 . 20 Everybody can not do business. Some people were born to be customers.🙊😂😂😂😂😂 #tayobshouse 21 If you are owing me, Biko pay me before I swear for you, but if I am owing you please bear with me because things are hard. You hear.🫣😊😊 . 22 On my way home, I gave lift to a fowl. Can't I help an animal again?.😎😋 . #keepsmiling 23 Good men still exist...But your eyelashes won't allow you to see them*🫣😎😎 24 Sometimes God allows ur phone to fall down so he can hear u shout "Jesus" since U refused to pray🤷🏿‍♂️🤣🤣 . 25 There are People Who lie so much That Even If You See Them In Hell They Will Tell You: "I Came To see Someone" *🫣🤣🤣 . 26 The Motivational* *Speaker wey dey advice me make I no give up, don commit suicide this evening*.. *Na there I dey rush go now.*🤣🤣 . #tayobgodswill 27 Before you have sex in the name of cold weather remember hot tea is cheaper than baby pampers.🤷🏿‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️🤣.. 😂😂😂😂 . 28 I tried acting rich today,I withdrew 30k ,stood in my room and sprayed it in the air.* *Now I don't know where 1k entered I'm having a sifia chest pain now 😂😂😂😂 . 29 I just k!ll€d the mosquito that Bite me last month nonsense He thinks that I wouldn't recognize him😪🙊🤣🤣😂😂😂 30 . Thank you so much for your dedication towards the growth of this page I say thank you for your help and support, I couldn't have made it without your help and support thank you so much my family

Big congratulations on your engagement, sweet sister. As you start planning for your wedding, just remember, that no matter how perfect the wedding is, the real challenge is figuring out who gets to sleep on the comfy side of the bed.

"I FEEL VERY ASHAMED THAT I WAS ALIVE AND WATCHED MY OWN 18-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER MARRY A 70- YEAR- OLD MAN" -REGINA DANIEL'S DAD "Regina and her mother, Rita, called me an ēnēmy of progress and wished me dēãth when I told her not to mãrry Ned Nwoko." -JUDE OJEGWU "I knew this marriage was bound to have issues. Even though I am in my late 50s and I can't marry a 18-year old girl. I feel very ãshamed that I was alive and watched my own 18-year daughter marry a 70-years old man. When Regina told me about this marriage, I told her that there's more to life and marrying a man who is older than me her father isn't right. But guess what? Her mother, Rita called me an ēnēmy of progress and wished me dēath. So I backed off and let Regina follow her happiness since she was already an adult anyway. I didn't even attend her wedding because I was ãngry. And today the same marriage they called me an ēnēmy of progress when I tried to open her eyes is crumblîng. I knew this would happen but I just hope she finds peace in her matrimonial home." ~ JUDE OJEGWU