Danloader Closed WhatsApp Group
Once upon a time, a lady I followed on Twitter said, "If I get pregnant and it's a male fetus, I'll ab*rt it. I'll never willingly bring another man into this world."
That day, I called myself for a meeting.
You see, a few years prior, one of my stories unexpectedly blew up on Twitter. I literally went from 511 followers to 4,000+ in one day. This led to my being more active in that app. I followed certain accounts with whom I believed we shared the same interests in feminism, faith, politics, and writing. I engaged with their tweets as often as I could.
However, I soon began to notice a change in me. I'd become a snarky, impatient, less objective, and angry person. I noticed this the most in matters of politics and feminism.
Somehow, I'd gone from wanting and advocating for equity for women in a world that's largely unfair to us, to seeing almost nothing good in men. If I tweeted something about women and their suffering at the hands of men and a man countered my opinion, I'd become enraged.
This went on for while. One day, after a particularly nasty exchange with a guy and seeing that tweet above, I called myself for a meeting and had an internal audit. Eketi, why are you angry? Why are you not liking men anymore? What did they say or do that's so bad, you're lashing out at all of them? Who is sponsoring your outrage?
For feminism in particular, while I thought I shared a common interest with many of the feminist accounts I followed, I didn't know their motivations, why they were feminists. I thought we all wanted the same thing. A bit naïve of me, I know. What was clear though, was that many of them were mad at men. Hateful even. Some were misandrists of the worst kind. Others believed in intersecting feminism with other ideals.
In constantly consuming their content, I'd absorbed their emotions, beliefs, and disposition towards men. I was becoming like them. I also realised there were cliques who were committed to driving and promoting certain narratives about men. I, was an outsider, part of the clueless, unreasoning mob who had no idea why we were protesting, but protesting nonetheless.
Now, I don't know their experiences, what made them arrive at the belief that no man is worth liking or loving or being treated like a human being. I will not judge them for it - it could be nothing, it could also be something - (I mean, I'm still trying to get one of my mentees to see that all men aren't bad, after she was r@ped by her father and her brother).
But I knew I couldn't continue in that direction. To nourish my mind with quietness, inspiration, growth, and positivity, and reflect that in my life, I immediately unfollowed many of those accounts and carefully curated my follow list from scratch. I muted the words 'politics' and 'feminism'. I unfollowed those who often make those quick disrespectful comebacks and call it savagery. My timeline went quiet.
I followed people whose conversations uplifted, educated, and inspired me, and cultivated the habit of listening to opposing views without losing mine. I also followed the feminists who weren't just talking, but walking the walk. We joined our resources to rescue kids who are trafficked, take sex workers off the streets, send girls in underserved communities to school, etc. My anger disappeared, my objectivity returned.
This brings me to the subject of the mind. The mind is an interesting thing, true. Whatever you feed it, it soaks up like a sponge everything. Our minds don’t discriminate between what’s “good” or “bad” for us—they simply absorb. And over time, the mind becomes what it absorbs. What we feed it through conversations we engage in, the people we surround ourselves with, and the content we consume, becomes the foundation of our thoughts, actions, and even the way we see ourselves.
If you continuously feed your mind with negativity, anger, and doubt, it will echo those feelings back to you. So, I know this may seem like a clichéd question. Nevertheless, I’ll ask it.
What have you fed your mind lately?
Are you consuming a healthy mental diet or is it time for a change?
It is not just about Feminism. In fact, Feminism was just used to emphasize many points. There are takeaways that apply to life generally.
That day, I called myself for a meeting.
You see, a few years prior, one of my stories unexpectedly blew up on Twitter. I literally went from 511 followers to 4,000+ in one day. This led to my being more active in that app. I followed certain accounts with whom I believed we shared the same interests in feminism, faith, politics, and writing. I engaged with their tweets as often as I could.
However, I soon began to notice a change in me. I'd become a snarky, impatient, less objective, and angry person. I noticed this the most in matters of politics and feminism.
Somehow, I'd gone from wanting and advocating for equity for women in a world that's largely unfair to us, to seeing almost nothing good in men. If I tweeted something about women and their suffering at the hands of men and a man countered my opinion, I'd become enraged.
This went on for while. One day, after a particularly nasty exchange with a guy and seeing that tweet above, I called myself for a meeting and had an internal audit. Eketi, why are you angry? Why are you not liking men anymore? What did they say or do that's so bad, you're lashing out at all of them? Who is sponsoring your outrage?
For feminism in particular, while I thought I shared a common interest with many of the feminist accounts I followed, I didn't know their motivations, why they were feminists. I thought we all wanted the same thing. A bit naïve of me, I know. What was clear though, was that many of them were mad at men. Hateful even. Some were misandrists of the worst kind. Others believed in intersecting feminism with other ideals.
In constantly consuming their content, I'd absorbed their emotions, beliefs, and disposition towards men. I was becoming like them. I also realised there were cliques who were committed to driving and promoting certain narratives about men. I, was an outsider, part of the clueless, unreasoning mob who had no idea why we were protesting, but protesting nonetheless.
Now, I don't know their experiences, what made them arrive at the belief that no man is worth liking or loving or being treated like a human being. I will not judge them for it - it could be nothing, it could also be something - (I mean, I'm still trying to get one of my mentees to see that all men aren't bad, after she was r@ped by her father and her brother).
But I knew I couldn't continue in that direction. To nourish my mind with quietness, inspiration, growth, and positivity, and reflect that in my life, I immediately unfollowed many of those accounts and carefully curated my follow list from scratch. I muted the words 'politics' and 'feminism'. I unfollowed those who often make those quick disrespectful comebacks and call it savagery. My timeline went quiet.
I followed people whose conversations uplifted, educated, and inspired me, and cultivated the habit of listening to opposing views without losing mine. I also followed the feminists who weren't just talking, but walking the walk. We joined our resources to rescue kids who are trafficked, take sex workers off the streets, send girls in underserved communities to school, etc. My anger disappeared, my objectivity returned.
This brings me to the subject of the mind. The mind is an interesting thing, true. Whatever you feed it, it soaks up like a sponge everything. Our minds don’t discriminate between what’s “good” or “bad” for us—they simply absorb. And over time, the mind becomes what it absorbs. What we feed it through conversations we engage in, the people we surround ourselves with, and the content we consume, becomes the foundation of our thoughts, actions, and even the way we see ourselves.
If you continuously feed your mind with negativity, anger, and doubt, it will echo those feelings back to you. So, I know this may seem like a clichéd question. Nevertheless, I’ll ask it.
What have you fed your mind lately?
Are you consuming a healthy mental diet or is it time for a change?
It is not just about Feminism. In fact, Feminism was just used to emphasize many points. There are takeaways that apply to life generally.
Once upon a time, a lady I followed on Twitter said, "If I get pregnant and it's a male fetus, I'll ab*rt it. I'll never willingly bring another man into this world."
That day, I called myself for a meeting.
You see, a few years prior, one of my stories unexpectedly blew up on Twitter. I literally went from 511 followers to 4,000+ in one day. This led to my being more active in that app. I followed certain accounts with whom I believed we shared the same interests in feminism, faith, politics, and writing. I engaged with their tweets as often as I could.
However, I soon began to notice a change in me. I'd become a snarky, impatient, less objective, and angry person. I noticed this the most in matters of politics and feminism.
Somehow, I'd gone from wanting and advocating for equity for women in a world that's largely unfair to us, to seeing almost nothing good in men. If I tweeted something about women and their suffering at the hands of men and a man countered my opinion, I'd become enraged.
This went on for while. One day, after a particularly nasty exchange with a guy and seeing that tweet above, I called myself for a meeting and had an internal audit. Eketi, why are you angry? Why are you not liking men anymore? What did they say or do that's so bad, you're lashing out at all of them? Who is sponsoring your outrage?
For feminism in particular, while I thought I shared a common interest with many of the feminist accounts I followed, I didn't know their motivations, why they were feminists. I thought we all wanted the same thing. A bit naïve of me, I know. What was clear though, was that many of them were mad at men. Hateful even. Some were misandrists of the worst kind. Others believed in intersecting feminism with other ideals.
In constantly consuming their content, I'd absorbed their emotions, beliefs, and disposition towards men. I was becoming like them. I also realised there were cliques who were committed to driving and promoting certain narratives about men. I, was an outsider, part of the clueless, unreasoning mob who had no idea why we were protesting, but protesting nonetheless.
Now, I don't know their experiences, what made them arrive at the belief that no man is worth liking or loving or being treated like a human being. I will not judge them for it - it could be nothing, it could also be something - (I mean, I'm still trying to get one of my mentees to see that all men aren't bad, after she was r@ped by her father and her brother).
But I knew I couldn't continue in that direction. To nourish my mind with quietness, inspiration, growth, and positivity, and reflect that in my life, I immediately unfollowed many of those accounts and carefully curated my follow list from scratch. I muted the words 'politics' and 'feminism'. I unfollowed those who often make those quick disrespectful comebacks and call it savagery. My timeline went quiet.
I followed people whose conversations uplifted, educated, and inspired me, and cultivated the habit of listening to opposing views without losing mine. I also followed the feminists who weren't just talking, but walking the walk. We joined our resources to rescue kids who are trafficked, take sex workers off the streets, send girls in underserved communities to school, etc. My anger disappeared, my objectivity returned.
This brings me to the subject of the mind. The mind is an interesting thing, true. Whatever you feed it, it soaks up like a sponge everything. Our minds don’t discriminate between what’s “good” or “bad” for us—they simply absorb. And over time, the mind becomes what it absorbs. What we feed it through conversations we engage in, the people we surround ourselves with, and the content we consume, becomes the foundation of our thoughts, actions, and even the way we see ourselves.
If you continuously feed your mind with negativity, anger, and doubt, it will echo those feelings back to you. So, I know this may seem like a clichéd question. Nevertheless, I’ll ask it.
What have you fed your mind lately?
Are you consuming a healthy mental diet or is it time for a change?
It is not just about Feminism. In fact, Feminism was just used to emphasize many points. There are takeaways that apply to life generally.
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