My wife and I were both in a bus this morning when I saw a Mallam talking about selling his iPhone 14 because he didn't know how to use it. According to the Mallam, it was a gift from his brother who was abroad, and he wanted to sell it and buy something cheaper.

Curiously, I turned to the Mallam and asked him.

"Oga, how much do you want to sell it?"

He looked at me and stretched the phone to me.

"If you get am for 30k now now, carry am. Phone is complicated wanlahi. Trouble trouble full the phone. I cannot operational the phone wanlahi. The only thing I use the phone for is call, text my wife, and call my boys for ask for my cows pinish."

"So the phone is functional?"

"Pully punctional Wanlahi. Punction full the phone as you see am, Gaskiya. 30k only, carry the phone."

I collected the phone and gave it to my wife to look at it. The iPhone 14 was normal. From the back, we could tell it was still brand new. She tried operating the phone but the battery shut down instantly because the phone was having just 1 percent when we collected it.

After inspecting it, my wife asked.

"So Mallam why do you want to sell it."

"You didn't hear me, madam? I say conflicated wanlahi. The phone is conflicated. I need simple something."

Me and my wife started talking in our language. I told her that the mallam doesn't know the value of the phone that is why he is asking for 30k. But business is business.

"We would offer him your old Android in exchange for the iPhone. Your Android is 100k. The iPhone is over 1.5million. So it is good business."

"Praises are you sure?"

"Yes. Think about it. Because if this Mallam go now, someone will jump on this opportunity and buy it. For even 200k. Let's pick it now."

After consideration, my wife agreed.

I turned to the mallam.

"Mallam, we don't have cash now, but we have a simple Android phone worth 150k. We would just give you this one and take the iPhone."

Mallam agreed.

"I am collecting this your phone because it is easy to use. If not I will need the cash."

We told him no problem.

Me and Mallam exchanged phone numbers. He removed his Sim and gave us the phone. I quickly dropped from the bus before Mallam changes his mind about selling the iPhone.

Overjoy didn't even allow us to ask for the phone charger. My wife and I started running home to charge the phone after we bought a charger by the road.

We got home and since 1pm this phone has been charging but it has refused to come on. When it did this evening, the phone showed NOKIA instead of iPhone. Immediately the phone went off again.

Fear gripped me.

My wife shouted "haaa".

Immediately I called Mallam with my phone and put the phone on loudspeaker.

Mallam picked.

"Hello Mallam, it is the man and wife you sold phone to."

"Okay... My kwastama."

"Mallam you said you got this phone from your brother who stays abroad?"

"Yes. My brother Shaibu. He stay abroad. For Sambisa with za cows."

"Sambisa forest?"

"Yes. Sambisa for Maiduguri. You know Borno?"

"Yes. But that is not abroad na? Anyway, you said the phone is okay. Why is it taking almost 7 hours to charge and the phone has not on?"

"No... No... No... I tell you the phone is comflicated. Wahala too much. Comflicated."

"I didn't know that is what you meant. Right now the phone is not coming on."

"1% is 14hrs charging. Be patient. Don't rushing in life. Patient dog chop fat bone. You have dog?"

"Yes."

"Patient like your dog. 14hrs e will on. But no speaker for the phone pa. You will buy for it speaker. This your own is good. I am enjoying it for radio."

My wife shouted.

"Mallam bring my phone and collect your own o."

Mallam ended the call.

This evening my wife has been telling me how her spirit didn't want the phone but I insisted. Me and her that was running home happily to charge phone o.

Do you see women?

Credit: Praises Chidera Obiora

PC: Facebook