Characteristics of Nigerian Kitchen 1. All pots inside the Biggest pot 😂 2. Maggi inside Cream Container😅 3. Top of deep freezer used as Chair 😆 4. Oversized polo for mopping the floor 👋 5. Salt inside Bama empty Bottle 😂😂😂 6. Onions inside tray on top of cupboard 😂 7. Yam and potatoes for floor 👋 8. Eva bottle filled with water inisde freezer but na tap water dey inside 😂😂 9. Empty palm oil bottle 😆 10.3 knives but you must use only One 😅 11. Broom and parker behind the door 😅 12. One Ancient Turning stick 😂😂 13. Fastfood takeaway plate inside another one and another one inside another one and another inside another one,😂😂 14. Garri as First Aid (Never Forget that 🤞) Please don't go without foll0wing my pàge

When I gave birth to Munachi, I was complaining about the daily washing of clothes but nothing, absolutely nothing prepared me for the dry cleaner I have become since he started school last week 🥺 They don’t wear uniform, parents are asked to drop extra clothes for the children because they eat by themselves and play outside. Omo I don wash clothes tire, everyday Munachi comes home with dirty clothes 😩….Yesterday Hubby went to pick him up from school and had to call me to confirm Munachi’s overall jumpsuit , because the overall he met at Munachi’s stand really confused him 🤣🤣🤣….Overall be looking like something that passed through mechanic training 😩 Thank God for washing machine that has been assisting because you see this life wey I come? Me and suffer head gat nothing in common Me: 👇 remembering I have washing machine to help with most of the washing 💃

I have a friend who is getting married in two weeks time. I don't know whether she's still my friend or not, because of how I answered her treasurer today. This lady created a WhatsApp group for fundraising and people don't contribute money. We're roughly 200 but so far less than 60 people have contributed and most of them have contributed less than two thousand. The problem with the treasurer is that he doesn't want us to breathe. He reminds us to contribute like 7 times a day in the group and has been to our inboxes severally to remind us of the same. Imagine waking up to a text reminding you to contribute to a wedding daily, a wedding that you clearly know you haven't contributed to. You ignore and continue with your business, only to receive a call reminding you of the same. The treasurer can pressure ehnnn I wrote in the group that they should stop reminding us because the inbox and calls may not sit well with most of us, a few people supported me, which made the group heated for some hours. The treasurer agreed not to text or call again. He kept a low profile for a few days, only for him to resurface again with the calls on Wednesday. I got agitated today and gave him a stern warning never to call my number even if the bride is my friend. I finished by asking if not contributing my 1k will stop anyone from getting married. He hanged up after promising me never to tag, call or text. My friend has been writing cryptic status updates on WhatsApp reminding the world how fake friends are and can't support you. She even wrote that she wished spinsters knew how expensive weddings are. Really??😂😂😂 #everyone #copied #everyonehighlights

A woman goes shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she absolutely loves. Excitedly, she says, "I need to have these!" The husband looks at the price tag and replies, "No way, love. They're way too expensive!" Later that night, as they're lying in bed, the husband decides to try his luck and places his hand gently on her hip. The wife turns to him and says with a smirk, "Sorry, love, but if you’re not willing to shoe the horse, you’re not riding it!"

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - A yeye adage. The richest man in Nigeria isn't married.

Sometime last year, this woman that I know to a large extent was passing my restaurant with a man. She saw me, stopped and was dragging the man playfully that he should come let them eat at my place, that my food is nice. (she laughs a lot and is very free by nature) This man rebuffed her like a child saying, paraphrased “na anywhere you see you go wan enter? If you no fit hold yourself, dey go, you go meet me for house” I wish I was making this post as a video, maybe I would be able to explain with the actual demonstration and face expression on this man’s face. You would think he’s talking to a five year old. I felt embarrassed for her, and a little bad that they didn’t come to eat that day, but I shrugged it off. She on the other hand just stylishly said they will come another time, while laughing and placing her hand on his shoulder as they walked away. *** For context, she’s a single mother. Her husband died years ago, so I believe this is a new relationship as I’ve not seen her with any man till that day. I had to bring up the above 👆🏻 in order for you to understand better my experience day before yesterday’s night. So on Tuesday Night, this lady and the man walked into my restaurant. They asked what I had and I told them. Then the man asked the lady to choose for him. She chose Native soup. Next thing this man said something in Igbo (of course not knowing I’m Igbo) which is weird cos the name of my restaurant would give anyone an idea. He said “do these people know how to cook soup, let alone native soup. That who knows how it will even taste. That it’s not to decorate a place that is the issue, but for the food to have taste, not this nonsense they cook” I don’t even know what he meant by “they” or where he assumed I was from. And the way he said this, very very condescending! The woman started telling him in hush tone that he shouldn’t have said that. He should have waited to taste the food first. I ignored and simply told them the price of food plus that they will have to pay before I serve. He started ranting again. That why would he pay for something he hasn’t seen, then asking the lady if that’s how we do here. The lady gave me sign of “I should please serve and not worry” I could tell she was embarrassed and being that I know her to her house, I made an exception. I served them food. I had actually thought it was the lady who was eating so I placed it before her. They eyes he gave me eh. The lady just moved the tray to him and now said she wanted pepper soup and malt. He angrily told her to eat what he’s eating. She argued that it’s late and she doesn’t want to eat fufu at night. He then told her to starve then as he’s not buying anything else. All these transpired in Igbo. Dear God, was I boiling inside 🤦🏼‍♀️ But I kept my cool of course. I’ve had my share of very rude customers, just that I was feeling for the lady. She had no choice than to join him to eat. When it was time to pay, he started complaining about the price. How he won’t come back if I don’t give him discount (remember I made the price known from onset o) When he saw I wasn’t responding, he brought out cash. I stood up to collect it, he took it back. Said he would transfer, I called account for him, it didn’t go through. He started telling the lady to pay, she said she wasn’t with cash and didn’t bring her phone. He said he needed to use the cash and couldn’t give it to me. Omo eh… Eventually, he gave me the cash as he didn’t see any other way forward. The lady told me thank you in Igbo and that I am doing well. I responded in Igbo too and he then said “so she’s Igbo and acting like oyibo” The way he even refers to me like I’m not there is what’s funny. What brought about this post is that when they were leaving, the woman came back to apologize. Telling me I shouldn’t mind him and all he did, that it’s how he is. I then asked “why be with someone who constantly disrespects and embarrasses you, especially in public” she said it’s cos he’s trying financially. That he just paid all her children’s school fees, so the load has been lifted off of her a little. I told her it’s well as she joyfully left. Like this lady is so full of joy and laughter that I don’t feel she deserves him. But who am I to have a say. He’s probably great in many other areas I’m not seeing so I wish them well. #myrestaurauntseries #portharcourtfoodvendor #ofeakwuboss

At 3 o’clock in the morning, a man and his wife were jolted awake by a loud, persistent pounding on their front door. Groaning, the man reluctantly got up and went to see who it was. Standing in the pouring rain was a drunken stranger, swaying unsteadily. "Could you give me a push?" the man slurred, water dripping off his soaked clothes. The husband stared at him in disbelief. "Absolutely not!" he barked. "It’s three in the morning!" He slammed the door shut and stomped back to bed, muttering angrily under his breath. "Who was that?" his wife asked, still half-asleep. "Just some drunk guy wanting a push," he grumbled. "And did you help him?" she pressed. "Help him? Of course not! It’s the middle of the night, and it’s pouring out there!" His wife sat up, turning on the bedside lamp. "You’ve got a short memory," she said sternly. "Don’t you remember when our car broke down three months ago? Those two kind strangers stopped to help us without hesitation. How can you refuse to do the same?" The man sighed heavily, knowing she was right. Grumbling under his breath, he got dressed and trudged back out into the storm. Stepping into the cold rain, he called into the darkness, "Hello? Are you still out there?" "Yeah, I’m here!" came the faint response. "Do you still need a push?" the man yelled. "Yes, please!" the stranger replied eagerly. Squinting into the gloom, the husband shouted, "Where exactly are you?" "Over here!" the voice called back. "On the swing!"

I'm using WhatsApp to automatically make money on WaPlus , and now I invite you to join: 1️⃣ New user registration bonus up to ₦1000!!! 2️⃣ Just 1 WhatsApp account to start making money! 3️⃣ Register now for a chance to earn ₦500000 per month!!! 4️⃣ No need to pay. Completely free and 100% legal💯 [Registration URL] https://share.share-ng.com/go/80280872

Angela's father offered me N50million to leave his daughter alone. At first I was hesitate to collect the money. I mean who wouldn't? That money will change my life entirely for good. But then I thought about it. This might be a set up. He haven't even shown me the money yet or a cheque for the money. What if this was a set up? Of course I didn't decline his offer after thinking. I politely told him I was going to give him a feedback after thinking about it. But this feedback will be a way for me to investigate if this wasn't a set-up. The father didn't push further. He gave me his card to call him when ever I'm ready to take the money. He left my house that morning with his security. Immediately he was leaving. Jide my bestfriend walked in. They met each other at the door. I stood by the door until Angela's father drove off with his convoy. Bro you no tell me say your family get money like this. Jide said immediately I returned back to my room. That's Angela's father. I replied Jide. Omor. Bro which kind grace you carry? Now now you don turn inlaw. Jide said to me. I wish. I replied him with a sad face. Why was he here then? Jide asked me curiously. He offered me money to leave his daughter alone. I replied Jide. How much? Jide asked me. N50million. I answered Jide. N50million? Ayochidi N50million and you are frowning your face? Abeg tell me say you collect that money. Jide said to me. I didn't. I replied Jide? Ayochidi you didn't collect the money? Jide asked me. I didn't reject it either. I said. Everywhere was now calm. Ehh ehnnn what did you do then? Jide asked. I told him I was going to think about it. I said to Jide. What is there to think about Ayochidi? Jide asked me. It might be a setup. I said to Jide. A setup? What type of setup? Jide asked me. Bro no one goes around giving out N50million to a random stranger. I said to Jide. But the thing here now is that you are not random. He is paying you off to leave his daughter alone. His daughter who kissed you in her party. Which bring me to the question why did you say Angela kissed you again? I mean you just met her few days ago. Jide asked. Her father wants her to marry this billionaire bully, she doesn't want to. I explained to Jide. This is like rich men wahala o. Jide exclaimed. I'm telling you bro. I really didn't want to get involved. I said. It's a good thing, you got involved. Jide said. How do you mean? I asked Jide. Just then my phone started ringing. It was Angela calling me. I picked up the call. Hello Ayo, can you make it over to my place tonight? I want us to have dinner with my parents. Angela said. Okay; but will your dad be there? I asked Angela. Of course; I said my parents. My dad, my mom; they both will be here. She said. Then someone started knocking on my door. When I opened the door. It is my girlfriend, but she broke up with me a couple of days back. Olivia what are you doing here? I asked her. I don't want a break anymore Ayo. I still love you. Olivia said as she hugged me passionately. Jide left a heavy breath. To Be Continued. Title: The Ticket 3 Your shares is my biggest motivation to continue.. My Name is Ayochidi and Writing Chose Me...

Welcome To The American Got Talent Me: Thank you Sir Judge 1: What is your name??? Me: my name is "good name". Judge 2: (confused) What do you mean!??? Me: A good name is better than great riches so my name is good name. All judges: WOW Judge 1: That means you're better than great riches???. Me: Yes sir that's why I don't like money because I'm better than it. All judges:( burst into loud laughter ) Judge 3: Where are you from??? Me: Nigeria Judge 3: wow all the way from Nigeria Me: Yes sir Judge 4: How did you come here?? Me: my friend escort me and come all because I use to escort him to buy garri and groundnut. Judge 4: (confused ) Garri??? What is that??? Me: Oh sorry I mean groceries and floating berries. Judge 1: Where in Nigeria are you from??? Me: my mummy said I'm Igbo,my dad said I'm Yoruba but I think I'm hausa. Judge 1: ( looking more confus•ed) How old are you???. Me : I'm a child Sir. Judge 1: Pardon your age??? Me: I don't know oh. My mum said she can't give birth to someone like me. So I'm waiting for my real mother to tell me my age . Judge 1: (Looking so frus•trated) So what have you come to do tonight??? Me : Nothing Judges: (all in unison) what do you mean nothing??? Me: Alot of people say nothing is impossible so I came here to do nothing . Everybody start cheering and clapping,the judges where all amazed. All judges: Wow incredible kid . Judge 2: So apart from nothing what else can you do??? Me: I can repair shoe that have cu•t, I can also repair phone and torchlight.( This judges go t!re today) . Judge 3: What makes you feel you can repair all this things ??? Me: because the last time I repaired phone for my neighbors he called the po•lice for me. Judge 3 : you mean the co•ps??? Why??? Me: Yeah because I can repair phone very well,he now call po•lice to detain me so that they can retain and maintain my talent for me to attain bigger and not to abstain from being the best phone repairer. ( The crowd started cheering again in excitement). All judges: wow wow wow ( They all gave me a standing ovation) Judge 4: Nice lines,I noticed you have a way around words bravo!. Judge 3: Are you a comedian??? Me: No I'm a talkertainer ,I entertain. Judge 2: Incredible!!! What's is your final word for tonight??? Me: My final word to the world??? Judge 2: Yes yes let's here it!. Me: LET THE POOR BREATH DON'T SUFFO•CATE THEM!! All This Oyibo people self 🤣🤣 ©️JJ Princenicholas