There’s this dispatch rider I always use because I like sticking to vendors once they deliver good service. Since he delivered my birthday cake from a client, he became my go-to for all my deliveries. Now, me, I’m a foodie. The kind that sees something fine online and orders without thinking twice. If I like it, I buy it. Simple. So, I order food a lot. Sometimes, when he came around, I’d give him small food if I had cooked. Other times, after paying for his service, I’d dash him extra or round up the money. I never saw him as just a dispatch rider. I related to him like an equal, gisted with him sometimes. So, one day, I’m chatting with a client-turned-friend, and she tells me about an opening in her company. Immediately, I think, “Ah, this could be good for my dispatch guy!” I pick up my phone and call him, excited to share the news. As soon as he picked up, he started hailing me. “Aunty! That food wey you give me ehn, chai! Too sweet!” I laughed. “Glad you liked it.” “No be ordinary sweetness o. Abeg, you put something inside?” I frowned. “Something like what?” He laughed a naughty laugh. “Love portion o! Because since I chop that your food, I just deh think about you. I no fit sleep. I just deh dream about you.” I was silent, hoping I misheard. But nope, he continued. “Aunty see eh, I get feelings for you. I no mind your age—I know say you senior me, but age na number. I go fit handle you well.” My silence didn’t discourage him. You sabi cook, but why you deh always order food? Na red flag for men o! But no worry, me I no mind, because I know say you sabi cook. And once we start dating, you no go buy food online again. I go make sure say na only your food I deh chop.” My mind was far I was wondering what I did and which diety did offended for this thing to be happening to me “See, no mind my work o. For you eh, I go stop this work, find better job so I fit deh take care of you. Just say yes.” I still said nothing. “Hello, baby? Baby, are you there?” Acha…Achalugo, I am going to marry you.... I ended the call and blocked him. That’s how he missed the opportunity I was calling to give him because of yansh. The End Ajebo Writer ©️Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne

I scolded my kitchen cleaner this morning for always coming to the kitchen late, like since I got here this girl has not made it for breakfast and will show up when I am almost done with lunch, just for me to reach out to my phone an hour ago and it was a strange number from a random guy chatting me up and asking why I will scold his babe, and I should never try such again if I want to last long. I saw the chat and was silent for a minute thinking of a perfect response to give back and I said Who is your babe please ? Him: Diana Me: the one wey Chinese Dey follow you chop? Him: I don’t understand you? Me: Him: do you mean she is sleeping around with people at work Me: Him: after giving me 5 audio missed calls with no response, Hello talk to me. Me: check her chat with Mr A, B and Z when she come back. Well I am getting prepared for the war ahead.

A man who doesn't appreciate his woman will only build resentment in the heart of his woman. ""Appreciating and complementing her when necessary encourages her to do more. Learn to appreciate your woman in all aspects.👌👌👍

One time, I stole money from my mom's purse, and she gave me the beating of my life. She asked me what I used the money for, and I told her I went to Agwan Bulus to play FIFA. As a result, I got grounded for a week. That evening, after all the beating, she cooked and called all her daughters to come and take their food and while I was patiently waiting for her to call me, and others had started eating, my mom asked me to go buy water. When I asked her for money, she shouted and asked me if I had forgotten where I normally go to steal the money from. I went to the bedroom and could not find any money at the regular spot where I usually steal it. So, I decided to raise her mattress up and check under one file, and behold, there was cash there, I brought it to her, and she started beating me again, asking me how I knew that was where she kept the money. She told me I now "smell money" and that I had gone too far and needed deliverance. She asked me to go pick my food to eat. I was eating with tears in my eyes and kept thinking to run from that house and make it big on my own. My mum never made me use the opportunity as the only son in the midst of 6 ladies to do whatever I want, to the point i was asking myself if I was adopted. that woman really calm me down.

Nawa oh Because of heat, I go price AC. As I hear the price, cold begin catch me🥶 🤣🤣🤣 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄

*WORK HARDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL IN LIFE👌.* *PEOPLE REGARD YOU MORE WHEN YOU ARE WEALTHY.* *WORK ON YOURSELF NOW.* *BE ON HIGH TABLE.* 🧏‍♀️🧏‍♀️🧏‍♀️ *TRY TO USE MONEY TO MAKE MORE MONEY💰* *GOOD MORNING EVERYONE*

In my teens, one of the ways I saved cash was by adopting what I called the mint and 200 approach. For the mint approach, whenever I withdrew money from the ATM or received change from a bus conductor or vendor, and it was a mint note, I did not spend it. I know mentioning the bus conductor here is strange, but on rare occasions, I have received mint notes as change. I had a clean envelope where I kept these mint notes, and at the end of each year, I would pay them into my account or use them to buy something important. For the 200 approach, each time I receive any cash, and there is a 200 Naira note in it, I remove the note and keep it. If there are multiple 200 Naira notes, I remove two. I use this approach especially if I am trying to save towards buying something I need in a couple of months. Times have changed, and I do not know if both approaches can work given current realities. But if you are finding it hard to save cash and just starting your savings journey, this is a fun way to start. And avoid having random cravings for ice cream, fish barbecue or shawarma.

My roommate and I were in this big wedding last Sunday. This big man was getting married to this big woman, so many of their big friends from all across the world came. It was a very lavish wedding. Money was being sprayed in dollars, and if naira was sprayed, it was the 1000 note. The more the couple danced, the more dollars were tossed into the sky. We were dressed in neatly ironed shirts, my roommate and I, and around our necks were colourful 'Ask Me' tags that indicated our roles. We went into the crowd, scooping up the money sprayed and stuffing it into these black nylon bags. There was so much money being sprayed. When our backs began to ache and we needed a rest, we told the ushers in charge of sharing food that we’d been working tirelessly under the sun and needed a break. They served us rice and fried chicken, and as soon as we stripped the meat off the bones, we got back into the field and resumed picking money. By the end of the day, we had filled two large carpenter bags with money. When no one was looking, we quickly slipped out of the area. I suppose someone eventually noticed that the two boys who had been picking money all day were missing and realized neither the bride's nor the groom's family had hired us. We were already halfway down the street, my roommate and I, holding the carpenter bags and the fake 'Ask Me' tags we had printed, when we heard voices behind us. "Hey, you two! Come back here! Bring back our money!" 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️

So, earlier this morning, I saw a water vendor (meruwa) heading to our neighbor's house to sell water. I called out to him and asked him to sell us 3 gallons of water as well. He pushed his truck closer to our door and asked where he should pour the water. I directed him to the visitor's toilet. After he finished, the meruwa approached me and asked for his payment. I inquired about the cost, and he said it was #1,200. I was a bit próvóckéd by the price he called and asked if that was for 3 gallons. He claimed he had poured 12 gallons, not 3. I was confused because the container could only hold 3 gallons. The meruwa insisted that I pay him the full amount. I went to check the toilet and found that the container was empty. I became even more confused and asked him again where he had poured the water. He pointed to the toilet's water closet (WC), claiming that's where he poured all 12 gallons. That's when the argument started. The meruwa thréáténéd to tâké áctîon ágáînst me if I didn't pay him. In the end, I reluctantly paid for water I never received or saw. If you live in the North, you will likely come across young water vendors. Be cáutîóus when dealing with them, as they can be tróûblésóme. Having recently moved from rural areas to the city, they may not be familiar with urban norms. Take thréáts from them seriously and avoid cónfróñtátióñs to stay out of trouble, please. .

You see this olokada is onisonu eda! What he did today, I really dislike it 😐. I was going out and I boarded his bike. His money was #300 and I told him that I had the highest denomination (#1000) on me. He said no problem. Getting to where I alighted, he started looking for change from riders like him. All to futility. Guess from whom he changed the money into lower denomination ❓