Being super understanding of other peoples pains and traumas doesn't mean you should become their punching bags.

They have a story, they got hurt, but do did you. You made a choice to heal and become a better human. They can make that choice too instead of making excuses for their toxic behavior.

A person can only become a better human if they decide to work on themselves. It's not something anyone can make them do. It is not your job to "fix" or "save" people.